How Do I Handle Emotional Pain?
Let’s just start this off with reality. We don’t like pain. However, we can’t escape it.
We live in this world, and with it comes beautiful flowers, cups of coffee, lovely people, and whatever else you tend to enjoy.
But, it also comes with pesky mosquitoes. Like why are those even here? Yes, those are a pain. We also have paper cuts, also a pain.
However, when we talk about dealing with pain, the more challenging circumstances usually come to mind, like heartbreak, suffering, sickness, grief, discomforting situations, and the sting of life.
Why? That’s the question we often ask.
I asked this question when I got really sick out of nowhere. I had just graduated and was living my post-college life in freedom.
No complaints...except for Sally Mae (But, that’s beside the point). Then, suddenly, my body had over 25 seizures in ONE DAY!
I didn’t get better in a week, or a month. Not even a year. After the second year of suffering and with my mental strength weakening...
I asked myself, why?
KNOWING WHY DOESN'T FIX THE PROBLEM!
When I found out my brother died, during that same time frame...I asked a bigger why? I felt like knowing why would fix my problem.
Here is just a little something I learned. Knowing why didn’t fix my problem, but it taught me where to fix my eyes, which is what relieved my heart.
The reason why bad things happen in the world is that of sin. In the beginning, God created the first two people on earth- Adam and Eve.
He created for them the most beautiful place to live and provided for them an abundance to eat.
He gave them one rule, as their Creator and Good Father. He didn’t say “Do it because I told you so.” God explained to them why and told them the consequences if they disobeyed.
They disobeyed anyway and the consequences included the pain in the world we live in. (Read the whole story for yourself in Gen. 3).
SIN IS THE REASON!
This is why we have death, sin, grief, and suffering. I know this answer doesn’t bring immediate comfort to someone who is hurting from losing a loved one or who is experiencing physical sickness like I was.
I wanted the pain to be over immediately. “How much longer, Lord?” “I’m weary, Lord?” “I’m hurting, Lord?” I don’t understand any of this, Lord?” These are prayers like David in the Psalms. It is what we think and how we feel in the middle of emotional pain.
But the consequences of Adam is the root reason for these experiences. This means there will be a day when all the effects of sin will be no more. Heaven will be glorious, my sister!
WE GET TO TASTE A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN ON EARTH NOW!
And, even now, we can find relief from our burdens, through our Savior Jesus Christ! The Lord is such a caring and comforting God. He tells us to bring the things that bother us (even the things right now- big or small) to Him because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7).
I have found five things that help me deal with emotional pain and will offer them to you!
1. Don't Numb!
What I can tell you for a fact is that numbing only works for a while. But, if you are in pain, you have to get real with it.
Many times, emotional pain hurts so much, we’d rather mask it and not get to the root. Is it really that someone said something that hurt your feelings or did they trigger a deep wound from your past?
God isn’t interested in doing patchwork with you. He wants to really bind up your wounded heart. He needs to clean things up and stitch the fragments back together again.
So, if you want to heal. Go to God and be willing to sit with the emotions that scare you.
Let yourself cry instead of hiding behind that brick wall you have built. Let yourself feel the grief of loss, or even allow yourself to feel angry.
Do all of this before the Lord, knowing that He will not turn you away, the Holy Spirit is the best Counselor. I have heard it said “Heart work is the hardest work,” and I agree. But, Jesus lightens our load and lets us walk away less burdened.
2. Trust God’s Promises!
When we are hurting, the promises seem far off. But, REMEMBER! His Word will not return void (Isaiah 55:11). He is not like man...God can’t lie.
Place His promises before your eyes! Write them on note cards. Put them on your bathroom mirror, at your bedside, or in your car. You are weak and you need God every hour!
One promise is that He works all things for our good (Romans 8:28). Yes, even this. You might not understand how it will fit into His masterplan, and you don’t have to. All you have to do is trust Him with your today (Matthew 6:11).
3. Remember The Importance of Perseverance!
Don’t give up, but persevere through the pain. The thing about perseverance is that it feels like forever and the thing about pain is that it hurts.
Nobody wants to hurt forever. You won’t! God strengthens and teaches through perseverance. You will have more character and hope after this (Romans 5:4).
If you struggle with perseverance, I have made a free printable download for you. Just click here. Also, I would suggest you read the first part of the book of James.
4. Do Not Isolate!
When we are hurting, sometimes the last thing we want to do is talk. Especially about whatever it is that is hurting us. The enemy loves this. He likes to get a believer by herself so that she is weak and more likely to believe lies.
Sister, get with a godly community. It is so important. You don’t have to tell everybody your business but tell a mature somebody. You don’t need to trust yourself with your own thoughts. It can get messy!
5. Lean On Christ!
Last, but not least (quite the opposite), rely on God alone. Lean on Him first and last! Don’t put all of your trust in one person- codependency is a mess; plus that's idolatry.
Don’t turn to yourself. Don’t turn to ‘acceptable sins.” And, don’t start putting your hope in other people’s advice (like this blog post).
Keep looking up. Allow everything to cause you to look to Jesus, your true hope! He is is the answer to emotional pain. Listen to your Shepherd and follow!
PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!